The following was written by my husband, Kevin.
During this uncertain time he wanted to reflect on this milestone in our family and gave me permission to share his reflections and thoughts about our little girl starting kindergarten.
Back in January as I was creating my year calendar and circling key dates, one day stood out that I didn’t want to circle.
The first day of kindergarten for Laina.
I put notes on my calendar that it will be a hard day emotionally, and reminded myself that I needed to embrace the emotions and feel the feelings.
For a month or two I couldn’t even mention kindergarten or I would start crying.
Brittany and I were sitting in the super small, dark room getting her ultrasound for our second baby in the fall of 2013.
We were fairly certain this would be our last child and my only prayer was that it wouldn’t be twins. (I laughed really hard when he read me this part, because we were always super nervous there were two babies in there).
I also hoped it would be a little girl, but in reverse psychology fashion I thought if I didn’t think about wanting a girl it would improve the chances of it being a girl.
I will never forget the moment she said, “It’s a girl.” My heart may have skipped a couple beats as I let the information sink in. I will also never forget how Brittany glanced at me. She was so excited because she loves seeing me cry. (In a good way).
Ever since that day in the ultrasound room and Laina’s birth, I have felt like time stood still with Laina. I have always thought of her as my little baby girl.
As the calendar turned to August last week, I saw that date standing out again and getting closer.
My notes say to feel the feelings, so I am starting to cry a lot.
Some things have changed since January that will make school a little different this fall. But we will adapt.
I started listing the pros and cons of physical school and online school. Then I caught myself secretly thinking, “If I don’t send Laina to Kindergarten, I can keep her as my little baby girl and she won’t grow up just yet.”
I know this isn’t true, but it feels like this choice of school has given me an excuse to hold on to her, pause time, and keep her a baby a little longer.
The day on the calendar may look different, but the reality is Laina is a kindergartener this year.
I will do my best to love and support her as she starts a new chapter, and I am excited for all the fun things associated with being school-aged.
There will be a lot of excitement and crying of happy tears in our home this fall.
And I will do everything in my power to cherish my time with our little baby girl as she grows up.
Thank you for letting me share this with you. 🙂
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