When You Can Finally Have It

In December 2020 I began substitute teaching.

It is my first job in 9 years, and I am loving it!

I love the flexibility and how well it fits all our schedules.

I love getting to know all the kids and helping the teachers.

But if I am being honest, what I loved the most at the start was the paycheck. One with my name on it.

I had so many plans for those first couple checks. So many items that had been on wishlists for years.

I was going to storm into IKEA and leave with a carload of white particle board organizers. My space would look “pretty.”

Then something curious happened.

A few paychecks in, I realized I had bought zero of those items. I had not stormed into IKEA.

I could finally have some of those things, but I didn’t want them anymore.

The desire only existed when I couldn’t have them.

Like when I finally let my kids have a soda or candy…the joy and taste never lasts as long as they imagine. It was more fun to dream about it.

So instead I found myself using my checks for healthy foods, experiences, bills, and savings.

I realized I wanted my hard work to fund important things.

And it turns out most of the things I desired weren’t important.




  1. Insightful, Brittany. In some ways, the pandemic has been a blessing – helping us pause and reflect on what we truly need vs. want. In our household, we have found less wanting than in the past. It’s nice to be freed from the tyranny of want. We would rather have the security of a nest egg.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That’s so fascinating. The other day I was making a list of things that I wanted to buy (mostly apparel), and I realized within a few days my desire to actually possess them was gone. It was kind of funny.
    I’ve been liking the simplicity of your posts. It’s short but also meaningful – I’m excited to read more articles on this blog:)

    Liked by 1 person

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